Work or play?

Sometimes things happen that make me 'shift my thoughts and feelings'.
Some of you know about TK (Tiny Kiln).

TK, tiny kiln, 30x30x33 cm inside

She was gifted to me and I was very happy with her.
However, she gave me a lot of trouble in the beginning of our relationship but finally 2 weeks ago I excepted her for who she is and what she can and cannot do. A sweet little kiln that can reach temp up to 1160C.
I decided to take up the challenge of creating glazes for that temp so I was trying, and reading, and trying and testing and testing and so on.

In the mean time I was reading al your great blogs and on several occasions I commented and blabbered on about how I think life is supposed to be fun and that there is so much beauty in the world if you just look for it and that is all doesn't have to be 'hard work', just enjoy yourself and live will lead you. See, I'm blabbering again. :-)

Then TK decided to give me some more trouble, fuses popped, coils melted again..... so no more firing for now....
Then the strangest thing happened to me, some kind of ease came over me. I didn't swear, I didn't kick, throw or punched anything.... none of that, just a happy thought that made me smile came to mind: ' Ah, good, something to want! No I have a good reason to want a new kiln and with that has to come a new place to live because a new kiln will be one that is bigger and better and there is just no room for a kiln like that in my apartment'.
I was at total ease with the circumstances and in that same moment I realized that I had been 'working to hard'. I was trying very hard to get better at making pots and seeking for some-kind of approval from other potters out there who's work I admire.

An oil-painting I did in 2001, it represents the feeling of ease and flow for me

Then it hit me; all the things I wrote on our blogs, I was just talking to myself! :-D
I have been wanting so bad to be a good clay artist and dreaming of how I was going to make a living out of it in the future that I forgot to have fun. It's is al about the journey, not the destination and I was only thinking of how to get to that destination!

an acrylic painting, I just love Celtic knotwork!

So..... I am going to have fun!
I have been playing around with ideas and materials and looking back at some things I did in the past that made me feel good and joyful.

13 months ago I had my first try ever on a wheel, these are my first pots! Boy did I have fun!

(except for the cleaning up afterwards because there was clay everywhere and the 10 (!) little holes in my hands because I was using the wrong clay, I really didn't know anything about throwing! :-)

Now new ideas start rolling around in my mind and I'm going with them for the fun of it.
I have no clue as to where my journey with clay will go from here but there is one happy pair of hands playing around with the clay! :-)

a sculpture of the goddess Nu Kua (chinese mythology), a blurry pic but who cares... :-)

Ow, and here's me, just a happy girl playing around with life.

Somebody please remind me when I'm being to serious!